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Mental Clarity: Finding and Keeping it.

The Simplicity of Childhood

Gaining mental clarity was not a problem I had; keeping it was. We're surrounded by so many options daily. Over time our clarity wears away until one day we wake up feeling lost and anxious without any obvious explanation. Well, that's how it felt for me.

I felt lost in an ocean of opportunity. For months, if not a few years, I was stuck trying to gain clarity on my life's direction.

As a kid, school was a breeze for me and it felt quite simple.

• Wake up at 6 am
• Go to gym training
• Eat breakfast with my mates
• Attend classes at school
• Rugby training
• Homework
• Dinner
• Sleep
• Repeat

My biggest worries were about a physics test or if my crush knew I liked her.

I was a good rugby player, a good leader, and my identity was clear. My peers respected me, teachers encouraged me, and I knew who I was.

"Keep doing what you're doing, and you'll get head boy, captain of the rugby team, and the girl."

The Challenge of Adulthood

But then I finished school, and things changed fast. I had more freedom to choose what I wanted to do. With belief in myself, it was easy to suffer from shiny object syndrome. I was jumping from one long term plan to the next.

More options meant more confusion.

Since school, I’ve changed career paths several times.

I’ve attended three different universities and never finished a degree. I felt stuck in the middle, with 30 ideas pulling me in 30 different directions.

The Impact of Too Many Choices

Research from psychologist Barry Schwartz explains that having too many options can lead to three problems:

• Anxiety
• Decision fatigue
• Dissatisfaction

Schwartz further explains that more options can make us less happy. They raise our expectations and make us fear making the wrong decision.

Another study done at Columbia University found that when consumers were offered 24 varieties of jam, only 3% made a buy.

But, when only 6 varieties were offered, 30% made a buy.

That's 10 times more in comparison. Imagine being able to get 10 times more clarity in your life.

I mean, if we struggle to buy jam, how do we expect to solve more complex issues like career paths, partners, kids or no kids?

These are permanent life-changing decisions, but we can't even decide on jam.

That left an obvious question. "How do I get and keep clarity in my life?"

Steps to Gain Clarity

Here is a simple exercise I did to get clarity and my advice on how to maintain it. (Use any writing platform that your are comfortable with)

Before you start, do any tasks that are bothering you. Find a quiet and clean environment to do this exercise.

1. Anti-Vision: Write down the life you don’t want. Be specific.
2. Dream Life: Write down the life you do want. Be specific and dream big.
3. Mentorship: Find a mentor living a life that aligns with your vision. Absorb their content and way of thinking. Even better if you can actually get a mentor to hold you accountable.
4. Alignment: Ignore everything that doesn’t align with your vision. When you feel like changing direction, revisit your dream life. Pivot if necessary, but stay clear on your vision.

This approach works for me because it creates polarity in mind. I know the life I am for and thus I also know the life I am against.

I don’t keep this somewhere I see every day, like my wallpaper, because I know I'll become numb to it. I keep it somewhere accessible but out of sight. Currently, it's tucked away in my Notion app.

When I am going off track, I pull it out like a compass, I reevaluate where I am, find my North Star, and get going again.

This process required an initial investment upfront: my time and a bit of soul searching. But the return on this investment is invaluable.

I am confident, clear and have a strong sense of direction. It has been a massive game changer for me and I hope it can help you.

P.S - Apricot jam is OG.

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